A Lonely Affair

Walking down the crowded street, earphones in place, she realizes a very vital fact about herself. She thrives in loneliness. It soothes her. It comforts her. It unfolds in front of her an empty canvass where she can draw characters, paint episodes, unfold mysteries. Devour on happiness. And sadness.

No, she does not walk alone. Holding hands, walking with her is her partner.  A few blocks away, a group of friends are waiting for them. To celebrate and make merry. All around her, there is a swarm of people. Jostling for space, eager to move ahead. But they are too real, these faces. They have emotions she cannot control. They feel on their own. They exist. And because they exist, they do not appeal to her.

For her lies the stories she weaves. A handsome prince falling in love with a plain-Jane-next-door. A couple fighting, kissing & making up. A proud father praising his successful son. A widowed woman struggling hard to overcome the struggles. A daily wage laborer finding a lost wallet. People dancing to the tunes of latest Bollywood blockbusters. Each time, a different scene. The cast usually resembles people she has met. Or seen in magazines. Or come across while crossing streets. Sometimes, faces come easily to her. Sometimes, she strives hard to conjure up one. In fact, at times there is no face at all. But what is omnipresent is an array of emotions. And love. And Hope.

In her world, the good guy is rewarded. The bad guy is punished. People repent. Apologize.  Here love flows freely and hate is sparse. And if grief is unbearable, plots are changed, happy scenes inserted. Here, hurt is temporary & happiness is prevalent. Pain is a prologue to something good. The future is not unforeseen, the past is not a memory. Everything is filmed in the present.

In the real world, she cannot rewind. Nor replay. Nor edit. Here, words are spoken, trust is broken, pain is not forgotten, and scars remain. Here, she has to be mindful of what she speaks. Watch out for souls she might hurt. Emote at correct places. Derive contentment in the present by planning for the future. Love consciously. Grieve privately. Here, life is a rulebook with Do’s and Do not’s. Here, loneliness is a synonym for being alone.

Not for her. For souls like her. Physically in the company of people, she remains aloof. The mundane affairs do not charm her. Yet, from them, she derives her inspiration for the stories. They give her the garb for her play. They provide the backdrop to her stage.

With them, she is lonely. Yet, she needs them. To day dream. To enjoy her loneliness.