Having taken a few days' break from work, I decided to meet up with an old school friend. I boarded a local train, and occupied my favorite spot near the door. I was traveling in Mumbai locals after a long hiatus, and the constant jostle of the crowd bothered me. The sweat & stench was something I was not accustomed to anymore, and, in my mind, I was hurling choicest abuses at the people who boarded first class compartments on second class tickets.
Making a mental note to book a cab on my way back, I looked out of the door as the train rushed past alternate stretches of shrubs and shanties. The breeze provided some respite. Just at that moment, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a shabbily dressed eunuch looking at me, asking for alms. If it had been a traffic signal, I would have shooed her away with rude gestures. But there, in a crowded train compartment, the uncouthness of the entire episode made it absolutely impossible for me to ignore her.
I delved into my pocket, found a spare five-rupee coin, and swiftly put in it the eunuch's hand. Careful not to touch her, and anxious to get rid of her. Yet, amidst all this hatred and feelings of untouchability, my inner self wanted her to acknowledge my magnanimity. My kindness. After all, not everyone shells out five full rupees to a beggar! She should have looked at me with obliging, tear-brimmed eyes, and maybe even tried to touch my feet (of course, I would have chided her for this atrocity!). Instead, when she looked past me with a sad & forlorn look, I was angry. The attitude that beggars have nowadays, I thought to myself. No matter how much you give them, they never seem to be satisfied. You should never be kind to them!
The eunuch continued to beg, eyes weary, lips pursed tight, the coins in her palm chiming to her faint juggle. All eyes were on her. In return for a coin or two, she collected innumerable glares that ripped her of her dignity of being a human. Glares that screamed to her that she is downtrodden, untouchable, not fit to be a co-traveler. Strangely, she seemed to be unaffected.
I concentrated on the scenery outside. The train was crossing a river, and I was marveling at the abundance of nature, when, suddenly, I heard loud whispers. Turning my head, I saw the eunuch standing right next to me, praying feverishly. Before I could react, she kissed the coins, crossed herself multiple times, and splayed her hands out of the door, tossing the money into the air. Glistening under the soft sunshine, the coins danced their way into the river. Each one landed with a soft splash, creating ripples in the heart of the otherwise silent watercourse. Feeling amused, I looked at the eunuch. She wore the same expression of indifference. How could she throw away her earnings just like that, I thought to myself. She could have bought herself a decent breakfast with that money, if nothing else! Was she annoyed at the frugal collections she had made? Was it her attempt to protect her dignity by despising the help we gave her?
My face must have emoted my thoughts clearly, because she turned around and spoke to me directly. "Didi, I sacrifice my first earnings of the day to God. And I pray that all my co-travelers achieve the purpose of their journey. With His blessings, I will survive the day, too."
I was taken aback. Not by the ritual, or the thought which went behind it, but simply by the fact that it came from a eunuch begging on trains. Philosophy and optimism are something we associate with us fortunate ones. We, who have our food cooked, warmed, and served to us in a platter. We, who want bigger houses with more rooms so that all our movables can fit in better.
Yet, here was this barefoot human being, with tattered clothes and unkempt hair, with no caste, creed or religion, with a gender which is still a stigma in the society. Exemplifying all it takes for a person to learn about hopefulness. And faith.
I do not know whether her prayers were answered, whether her sacrifice helped her survive the day, or whether she went to bed on an empty stomach. But her simple, uncomplicated belief in the future amazes me till date. Many a times, when life hits a rough patch, I try to bring myself to think on those lines. And I fail miserably, each time.
I delved into my pocket, found a spare five-rupee coin, and swiftly put in it the eunuch's hand. Careful not to touch her, and anxious to get rid of her. Yet, amidst all this hatred and feelings of untouchability, my inner self wanted her to acknowledge my magnanimity. My kindness. After all, not everyone shells out five full rupees to a beggar! She should have looked at me with obliging, tear-brimmed eyes, and maybe even tried to touch my feet (of course, I would have chided her for this atrocity!). Instead, when she looked past me with a sad & forlorn look, I was angry. The attitude that beggars have nowadays, I thought to myself. No matter how much you give them, they never seem to be satisfied. You should never be kind to them!
The eunuch continued to beg, eyes weary, lips pursed tight, the coins in her palm chiming to her faint juggle. All eyes were on her. In return for a coin or two, she collected innumerable glares that ripped her of her dignity of being a human. Glares that screamed to her that she is downtrodden, untouchable, not fit to be a co-traveler. Strangely, she seemed to be unaffected.
I concentrated on the scenery outside. The train was crossing a river, and I was marveling at the abundance of nature, when, suddenly, I heard loud whispers. Turning my head, I saw the eunuch standing right next to me, praying feverishly. Before I could react, she kissed the coins, crossed herself multiple times, and splayed her hands out of the door, tossing the money into the air. Glistening under the soft sunshine, the coins danced their way into the river. Each one landed with a soft splash, creating ripples in the heart of the otherwise silent watercourse. Feeling amused, I looked at the eunuch. She wore the same expression of indifference. How could she throw away her earnings just like that, I thought to myself. She could have bought herself a decent breakfast with that money, if nothing else! Was she annoyed at the frugal collections she had made? Was it her attempt to protect her dignity by despising the help we gave her?
My face must have emoted my thoughts clearly, because she turned around and spoke to me directly. "Didi, I sacrifice my first earnings of the day to God. And I pray that all my co-travelers achieve the purpose of their journey. With His blessings, I will survive the day, too."
I was taken aback. Not by the ritual, or the thought which went behind it, but simply by the fact that it came from a eunuch begging on trains. Philosophy and optimism are something we associate with us fortunate ones. We, who have our food cooked, warmed, and served to us in a platter. We, who want bigger houses with more rooms so that all our movables can fit in better.
Yet, here was this barefoot human being, with tattered clothes and unkempt hair, with no caste, creed or religion, with a gender which is still a stigma in the society. Exemplifying all it takes for a person to learn about hopefulness. And faith.
I do not know whether her prayers were answered, whether her sacrifice helped her survive the day, or whether she went to bed on an empty stomach. But her simple, uncomplicated belief in the future amazes me till date. Many a times, when life hits a rough patch, I try to bring myself to think on those lines. And I fail miserably, each time.
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