She was very excited that evening. She was about to join
office after a 3-month long maternity break. Yes, I know it sounds improper.
Some may even call it crude. You are not expected to be happy when you are
leaving a 2-month old behind. You should be guilty all over, teary-eyed, and
bear the expression of someone who has just been caught red-handed slaughtering
his dear one. But how could she deny the feelings that welled up inside her?
Just because her husband’s earnings are decent, she should
sit back at home and ‘enjoy the motherhood’? She had been hearing it right from
the time she had conceived. How can she explain it to others (mostly housewives
who have never seen the insides of their office in their entire lives) that work
means a lot more to her than just bread & butter? It is a part of her existence, her very being.
These 9 months of sickness, the gruesome childbirth, the physical &
emotional mayhem that followed, all of it was too much for her to handle. She desperately
needed a breathing space. She wanted to return to normalcy. What wrong did she
commit if she asked for a few hours of respite?
She confided in her mother, only to be chided for even
bearing such thoughts in mind. How could she!!! Her mother never had such
thoughts. Her grandmother never had such thoughts. Is she something different?
She should be ashamed of herself!!
Her dilemma increased even more. The excitement in her heart finally gave way to
guilt! She tossed & turned on her bed the whole night. Every time she would
look at her sleeping child, a lump would form at her throat. What grave
injustice was the child being subject to, just because the mother wanted to
fulfill her own ambition?! She fought with her inner self. Having a child makes
a woman complete, yes. But then, so does her profession. Motherhood is a
beautiful experience, no doubt. But, she is not JUST a mother and a wife. Her
identity comprises of who she is at her workplace as well. But then, right now,
her child needs her more than anybody else. Should she take a break? Will she
be able to cope up on the professional front after she returns back? Forget
that, will anybody even GIVE her a job when she decides to return? 2 years is
enough for the entire technology to change. At home, she at least has her
mother to take care of the baby. She knows that her baby will be in safe hands
and get the utmost love & affection. And, she is not the only one in this universe who
decided to start work immediately after the maternity break. After all, so many
crèches and daycare centers are not running at a loss, are they?!
She hated it the most when people said that her husband was
capable enough to take care of her & the child. She failed to understand
the relation between her husband’s salary and her profession. Just because he IS
capable of taking care of her does not mean he HAS to take care of her right?
And, who on earth has defined ‘take care’ as bringing home a salary?????
She
made up her mind. She will rejoin office with full gusto. After all, if she
curbs her desire today, how will she be able to teach her daughter to live life
on her own terms? How will she give her daughter the freedom, the values, when
she herself doe not assert them? She has taken a decision. And she will stand
by it.

I am totally agreed with you dear. Job is not only the earning medium it's also part of our existence. Most of all, we, can take care of professional and personal life equally and enough efficiently. Go ahead with your decision shreya ........ I am with you always.... :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a profound exploration. The self is made of many things, things beyond the set checklist of child, hearth and domesticity. This writing comes from a prosperous woman of the world who knows what she wants and seeks no affirmation for her choices. It is a strong and a very attractive trait. Love always.
ReplyDeleteSweet article ... loved it & very true
ReplyDeleteVery sweet article and its perhaps essence of every working mothers and their feelings are very nicely crafted in your article ... Its a kind of revolt we still need to do in our society to reinstate our existence after motherhood... very well done ..
ReplyDelete